


This Song Is Still For You....

by That_Randomgirl21



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:08:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Randomgirl21/pseuds/That_Randomgirl21
Summary: Maybe the words weren’t all there, but her heart always was.
Relationships: Ricky Bowen & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts
Comments: 24
Kudos: 77





	This Song Is Still For You....

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii so this oneshot is based off the auslly oneshot https://m.fanfiction.net/s/9570860/1/My-Heart-Will-Never-Ever-Change
> 
> also there is a trigger warning but I don’t want to put it at the beginning bc of spoilers for people who don’t need them, soo they’ll be at the end notes !!

The first time it happens, they don’t think anything of it, because things like this happen sometimes.

They’re all hanging out, in the park, when Nini asks, “hey, gi, when’s your dance-“ she pauses, confused. What was she gonna say?

“Competition?” Gina guesses in the same tone, confused as to why her best friend forgot the word, but she quickly brushed it off, because, things like that happen.

“Right. Competition.” Nini nods, repeating the word as if she’s never heard it before. “That was weird.” She shrugged.

Seb was first to speak up about it, “have you been getting enough sleep? Drinking enough water?”

Nini rolled her eyes. “Yes Seb i have been drinking enough water.”

“And what about your sleeping schedule?”

Nini paused for a second. “I’ve only been staying up to study.”

“How long?” Kourtney asked.

“Umm.....just about an hour or so before i need to wake up again.”

“Nini!” The group yelled in unison.

“Nini, babe, what did I say about overworking yourself?” Ricky said, grabbing her hand lightly and giving it a squeeze.

“To not to.” She looks at their hands, and then back up at him. “But I need to pass college, it’s so important to me-“

“I know, I know, and I love that you’re doing what you love but, this is really affecting you.” He says. “Can you promise me that you’ll try to get more sleep than just an hour?”

Nini sighed. “I promise. You’re lucky i love you.”

Ricky smiled. “I love you too.” He gently placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her, and of course, she kissed back.

“Ew gross.” Red proclaimed.

“Get a room.” Carlos told them.

“Hets.” Ashlyn shook her head.

-

The next time, Ricky starts to get a little concerned, but he tries to brush it off, because she misplaced them, and it’s just a silly little word.

Nini goes to open the door, there Ricky is, ready for their date, she looked as beautiful as always.

“Hey neens, you ready?” He asks, although he most certainly knows the answer.

“Yeah, I just need to grab my-“ she pauses, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Keys?” Ricky guesses, because what else would she need.

She nods, “keys. Yep those.” She says slowly, how could she forget something like that? 

She turns away for about a minute or two, before frantically coming back. “I can’t find them I can’t-“

“Woah, calm down.” He places his hands on her shoulders, calming her down in her frantic state. “Don’t you know where you usually keep them?”

The girl’s brows quirked for a second time that night. “Usually put them?”

“Yeah.” Ricky slowly drops his hands from her shoulders and runs and hand through his hair, “the dish on your dresser? C’mon I’ll help you look.” 

Nini quickly moves aside so he can come in and he’s already up the hallway because man all he wants to do right now is give his beautiful girlfriend the most amazing date she deserves.

He hears a door shut and quick footsteps following behind him, he walks into her room, Nini following behind.

He grabs her keys that were sitting in the dish on her dresser like he said, where she always puts them. “Here you go.” He smiles.

“Thanks.” She takes them from him. “How the hell did i forget that?” She laughs.

Ricky grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers. “I don’t know, maybe you were too focused on me.”

Nini scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You wish”

-

This time, Ricky’s very attentive to Nini’s words. I mean he always was but now more than ever.

Its only been a few weeks since she forgot the word keys and where she had placed those keys.

They were with Carlos and Seb at Red’s pizza shop, they were sitting and laughing and talking.

Nini goes to take a bite of her pizza, as ahe does, some sauce drips onto Nini’s jeans. “Crap, can someone pass the-“ she stops, thinking “The um-those things.” Is the best she can come up with, pointing to the napkins at the end of the booth.

“You mean napkins?” Seb chuckles, and so does Carlos.

Ricky’s the only one not laughing, why did she forget the word napkin?

Carlos grabs a napkin and hands it to Nini. “Nap-kin.” She says slowly. “Napkin. Thank you.” She says, wiping the sauce off of her jeans.

Ricky leans to whisper in her ear. “Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?”

“Yeah I am. I swear.” She tells him. “But maybe it’s because I’ve been so busy songwriting and studying.” She tells him.

“And making out with me?” Ricky says, smirking, completely forgetting the presence of their two friends.

“Ugh. Gross.” Carlos gags.

“Yeah guys we’re right here and we’re eating.” Seb dramatically drops his pizza back on his plate. “Keep some things to yourselves.” 

Ricky blushes leaning away. He looks over at Nini who’s blushing as well and looking down at the napkin on her leg.

He didn’t believe her when she said she was getting enough sleep, because why else would she be forgetting so many things.

But she would be okay. This was Nini. And even if she was more forgetful than she used to be, she would probably get over it soon, because, he’s sure that she’ll be okay.

But even though he knows that, it doesn’t stop him from worrying.

“Do you mind if i stay with you tonight?” Ricky asked Nini.

“Guys what did we just say.” Carlos fanged annoyance, dropping his pizza on his plate.

The couple rolls their eyes. “It’s not like that Carlos. I’m just staying over at Nini’s for the night.”

“Mhm. You say that now but then suddenly ‘guess what guys we’re having a baby’” 

Nini rolls her eyes again “not gonna happen anytime soon Carlos.”

“We’ll see about that.” Seb mutters. 

After dinner they’re standing outside, Nini sets the leftovers on the ground, so she can hug Carlos and Seb, she watches as Ricky also hugs the boys.

They say their goodbyes and now all of a sudden Ricky’s hugging her.

“What’re you doing?” She asks, hugging him back. She’s not complaining, but she’s confused, which seemed to be an emotion she’s felt a lot this past month.

“I just needed a hug from you.” He hugs her tighter.

Nini laughs. “Not that I’m complaining because this is really nice but” she says “we’re literally going home together, and even if we weren’t we came in the same car.”

He breaks the hug slightly, and then kisses her softly, which of course she’s returned, they’re both smiling against it. When Ricky breaks away he’s smiling. “I love you so much Nina Salazar-Roberts.”

“I love you too Richard Bowen, but we need to get going.” She unwraps her arms and he does too, he frowns, because yes he wants to hug her longer but mostly because of what the girl in front of him says next.

“Where are our leftovers?” She asks. “I swear I just had them-“

Ricky walks over to pick them up and show it to her. “You mean these? Neens you set them down when we said goodbye to Seb and Carlos.”

“Oh.” She frowns. “Why does this keep happening-“

Ricky reaches his hand out. “Its okay. C’mon let’s go home.”

Nini smiles, intertwining her hand with his and walking to his car.

-

He’s really worried about Nini now. Really worried.

She forgets the word song.

Nini was at her desk in her room, writing in her notebook.

Her phone rang and she smiled because Ricky, her Ricky, was FaceTiming her.

She happily answered, and leaned it against her lamp so she wouldn’t have to hold it.

The familiar ding signifies that they we’re connected, and his soft voice and beautiful smile was what Nini loved, “hey Neen’s, what’s up?”

“Nothing.” She smiled. “What are you doing?”

“A stupid essay.” He sighs loudly. “You?”

“Oh I’m just writing-a-“ she’s in deep thought, searching for the word she wants to say.

“Song?” He guess slowly.

“A song, yeah.”

That’s what finally scares him, so he takes her to see a doctor, how would Nini forget the word song.

They were told that she had a brain disorder, but the diagnosis wasn’t set in stone, diagnosis like that never were.

It was extremely rare that Nini has it, especially at her age.

But it’s Ricky, since when was everything in his life normal.

When they get back to her dorm, Nini immediately starts researching it. She doesn’t seemed phased or scared or nervous at all. Hell, she even said it’s not that bad.

Ricky doesn’t understand it because he’s terrified.

“I found out that my symptoms won’t even fully affect me until a few years, so until then I can help you with school or music.” She tells him. “Then for the next decade I can watch you follow your dreams and-“

“Do you really think that’s my top concern right now?” He yells, Nini’s taken aback. “Do you really think that my top concern is you won’t be able to help me with my life? Do you think that all of that is my top fucking concern right now, when you’re telling me all you have left is 10 fucking years, Nini.”

“Ricky-“

“Ten years, Nini. Ten. And then what you’re just, just gone?” 

Ricky starts pacing, before collapsing on the couch and burying his head into his hands.

Nini sits next to him and pulls him into a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck, and he instantly wraps his around her waist, his face is buried in her shoulder, and he’s sobbing into her shoulder and he feels like he can’t even breathe because the thought of losing her-that happened once, and as much as he wants to prevent that, he can’t.

“I’m gonna lose you, neens.” He sobs and holds her tighter. “And the worst part is you’re not even gonna remember me.”

“Don’t.” She told him, feeling like she was going to cry too. “I won’t forget you, Ricky. Ever. I promise.” 

And that was a promise she would always keep, no matter what.

-

A month later, Ricky decides Nini shouldn’t live alone anymore.

He drops out of college, Nini takes up online courses.

He buys them there own apartment, and Ricky’s able to get a job at Red’s pizza place, since it was the only job he could get that would let him get to Nini whenever he needed to. Red was fully aware of Nini’s condition, so when Ricky called him up and said he needed a job he immediately obliged.

Today, he’s cleaning off a table, when his phone rings. He pulls it out, and of course there reads the name Neens ♥️ he answers it as quick as possible. “Nini? What’s wrong what happened?”

“Come-h-home ple-please.” She managed to get out, in a sob.

“I’ll be right there.” He hangs up his phone and puts it back in his pocket. “Red! I’ll be back soon!” He yells, before running to his car to drive back home. 

When he opens the door, he sees Nini sitting at the island of their kitchen, head in her hands, he can tell she’s been crying.

“Nini?” He runs over to her. “Hey, hey what’s wrong?” He sits next to her, resting his hands on her forearm.

“I can’t find my ukulele.” 

He sighs in relief, because it wasn’t anything horrible. He stands up, and so does she. 

“I’m sorry for calling you out of work-“

“Hey don’t apologize.” He wipes a tear away with his thumb. “Come here.” He whispers. 

She doesn’t think twice. Her face in his chest, soaking his shirt but he doesn’t care. He runs his hand through her hair, “it’s gonna be okay.” He kisses her forehead, and rests his head on hers. And they stay like that for a very long time.

-

Now, it’s been a year, she’s forgetting more and more words, faster.

She has a note on her phone that let’s her know where everything is.

He can’t even let her be alone, he’s too scared to leave her alone, not even when he was at work. So he has any one of his friends stay with her. Because what if she forgets something major, and he wouldn’t know. What if she forgets how to use the stove and then the whole place burns down? What if she gets herself killed because she forgets something?

He’s not risking it, and he knows everyone else wouldn’t either.

But her memory isn’t the only thing affected, it’s her attitude now too.

She acts so different around everyone except Ricky. She’s angrier often, the slightest thing could irritate her.

Like today, Ricky was getting ready for work, and the doorbell rang. It was Gina.

“Hey Gi, thanks for agreeing.” He said, hugging her.

“No problem. Anything for he-“

“Ricky!” Nini yelled, causing Gina and Ricky to jump apart.

“What are you doing with her.” She crossed her arms.

“Neens, Gina is just here to keep you company while I’m at work, okay? I was just thanking her.”

“I don’t need a babysitter, Ricky. I am perfectly capable of being alone while you’re gone.” She states matter-of-factly.

“Nini-“

“Go. I got this.” Gina gave him a reassuring smile, knowing he was going to be late.

“You sure?” He raises a brow.

“Yes! Go!” He looked unsure, until finally deciding he should go.

“Why are you here, Gina. I’m an adult not a little kid. You don’t need to watch me.” 

“Nini, we’re all looking out for you-“

“I get that! I do! But what’s so bad about forgetting a few words! I’m not an idiot, Gina.”

“I never said you were.”

“Then why is someone always in this goddamn apartment! Huh! Why is it always you, or kourtney, or ash, or seb, or carlos or ej! I literally cannot do anything without someone watching my every fucking move!”

Gina frowned. “Nini we just wanna make sure you don’t forget anything important, and we don’t want you ti get hu-“

“So when I’m at home doing whatever, and i forget the word dirt or carpet or flower. Would it really matter? Would it really matter?” She yells. “I can’t fucking do anything anymore without someone watching me or asking if I’m okay and I’m really fucking tired of it! I’m still Nini, a fully functioning and capable person who forgot a few words, so could you back off!”

Gina’s face falls, Nini’s never been like that, ever. All she wants to do is hug Nini and tell her that she’s one of her best friends and everything’s going to be okay but-

She can’t move.

Nini’s even surprised at herself, what had happened to her?

“I-I’m so sorry Gina-“ she covers her mouth before running off to her room. Gina bites her lip, sitting on the couch. She knows she didn’t mean what she said when she bursted like that but-she buries her face in her hands and lets out a sob.

The door opening makes her jump, and immediately collect herself. “Ricky? I told you to go to work!”

“I-I was. I just wanted to make sure things were okay before I actually left.”

Gina nodded. “So I guess you heard everything.”

“Yeah.” He walked so he was by the couch instead of the door. “Look, I’m sure she didn’t mean any of that. She would never want to hurt you.”

“I know. But I just-i don’t want her to go angry, you know? And I certainly don’t want her to go hating all of us.” Her voice was breaking, she sniffed and her eyes were glossy and it was very obvious she was crying previously. 

“I know.” He said shakily. “You should go home, I’ll take the day off.”

Gina stood up shaking her head. “No, you already missed to much work-“

“Gi, please. I should talk to her anyway.”

“She already stormed off to your guys’ room, I don’t think she wants to talk to anyone.”

He lets out a shaky breath, and hugs her. “Go home, Gina. Thank you for helping.”

She hugs back. “No problem.” 

He watches as Gina exits the apartment, before walking to he and Nini’s room. There’s no lock on the door so she couldn’t lock herself in there, he took out the lock on their door after their first fight.

She got angry because she thought he was flirting with the pizza delivery girl-which he wasn’t-and when he tried to explain that to her she got angry and locked herself in their room.

While that happened she forgot the word nap.

Ricky and Nini did make up, obviously. Ricky removed the lock on their door so something like that never happened again.

He knocked on the door. “Go away, Gina.” Surprisingly she wasn’t angry, she was crying.

He opened the door. “Neens? Gina left, it’s Ricky.”

Nini immediately sat up, wiping her tears. “Oh.” She sniffed. “Shouldn’t you be at work.”

“I uh, I heard what happened and I just wanted to check on you.” He sat next to her. “Are you okay?”

“I would ask you to leave me be-but you won’t so I’ll guess I’ll just tell you” she said “I don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t know how you can do this anymore.”

Ricky furrowed his eyebrows. “Wha-“

“I’m hurting people, Ricky. And I don’t wanna do it to you.” She looks at her hands. “I think I should go back with my moms.”

“Nini-“ 

“I’m not breaking up with you Ricky, I just-I need time before I-“ she looks at him, and he goes silent. “I love you, Ricky. I always have and I always will that won’t change. I just-I know how hard it is to be with me, and I know I’m constantly making it harder.”

“Nini-please-what are you-“

“I wouldn’t blame you if-“ she swallowed “if you didn’t want to be with me anymore, and I’m to selfish to break up with you but I think we both know I’m going to hurt you-“

She’s cut off by her face being cupped by Ricky’s hands and being gently kissed by him. 

He slowly pulls away, moving hair out of her face. “Don’t. Don’t ever say that, okay? I’m never leaving, ever.” He hugged her by the side and she wrapped her arms around his torso. “No one ever meant to make you feel that way, especially me. You know that right?”

She sighs and nods. “I know.” She removed herself from Ricky’s hold. “I’m gonna go call to apologize to Gina.”

-

Nini’s sitting with Ashlyn and Ej, Ricky walks through the door. “Hey, how was work?” Nini asked immediately.

“Kind of slow, but it’s whatever.” He hung his coat up, and kissed Nini before sitting dow next to her. “What’s going on here?”

“We’re just talking about the High School Muscial play we did.” Ashlyn told them.

“Yep, Ricky almost gave up troy for you Nini.” Ej reminded, not knowing if she did or didn’t remember.

“Correction.” Ashlyn said. “Ricky did give up Troy and then Ej gave up Troy and then Nini started singing Breaking Free to get Ricky back in.”

“Damn, looking back that play was kind of a mess huh?” He laughed with everyone else.

Nini smiled. “I remember.And then we all had a party at Ashlyn’s.” She thought for a moment. “I remember when we all sang to save Miss-“ her face fell, they hadn’t seen this in a long time.

“Miss Jenn.” Ashlyn said sadly.

“Miss Jenn.” Nini whispered

-

“I think you should do it.” He says.

Nini’s sitting in front of her phone, she was going to post her first original song in awhile. “I don’t know Ricky-“

“Neens this is your favorite thing to do, and you haven’t done it since we found out.”

“Exactly, what if-“

“When we we’re in high school, when you got me back into the play, you said-“

“-look at me, right at me. I remember.”

Ricky smiled and nodded. “Yeah, so just pretend you’re singing to me.”

Nini nodded, pressing record and started to sing while Ricky watched in awe. He missed her singing so much, it put him at such peace.

Once she was finished, she typed out her caption.

“Nini! That was amazing!” Ricky exclaimed hugging Nini, and of course hugged back. “You’re so talented.”

“It felt amazing.” She broke the hug. “But I think my songs will work better for you.”

“What do you mean?”

She sighs, walking to their room and coming back with a notebook. “I know, that you want to be a singer, so I wrote you a notebook’s worth full of songs when we first found out about my condition, I’ve just been waiting for the right time and I think now, is the perfect time.” She held out the notebook for him to take.

“No.”

“No?” 

“I’m not going to, not without you.” He pushed the notebook down.

Nini held it back up. “Take it.”

“I don’t want it. I don’t want to do this without you-“

“You have to, Ricky.” She tried again.

“Nini, I can’t live my dream without you, I won’t-“

“Ricky!” She yelled.

He stared at her, were they really having this argument right now? She was the only one who kept him from giving up, and she was seriously telling him she won’t let him?

She sighed. “You can’t-you can’t keep putting your life on hold for me. I’m telling you, take this. Live out your-d-dr-“

“Dream.” He whispers.

She places the notebook in his hands. “Don’t let me stop you from doing this Ricky, ever. Okay?”

He nods, although he knows he won’t be able to open this notebook. He won’t open, won’t look at it. Because he knows as soon as he reads that first line it’s over, he’ll lose it, but he agrees anyway, and let’s out a breath “okay.”

-

Two years later, they we’re sitting on the swings at the park they used to go to as kids, which was now abandoned. They had just gotten an invitation to Seb and Carlos wedding the other day.

They we’re so happy for their friends, and, for the first time in a while, Nini couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The idea of marriage and weddings, but, she doesn’t know if that will work out, she’s not the same anymore.

“I wanna get married.” She said.

He looks at her. “Yeah?”

“I always have, but now-“ 

“Now what?”

“If we were to get married-what if i forget my vows? What if i forget everything in that moment? What if i forget the words I do?”

“Nini, you could forget every single word and I’d still marry you.”

She smiles.

“Let’s do it.” He says standing up.

“What?”

“Let’s get married.”

“Ricky-“

“You said thats what you wanted right?”

Nini stands up. “Ricky, if you don’t want to that’s fine.”

Actually he’s been thinking about proposing for a long time but he never had the courage and could never find the right time.

In fact he’s been hiding a ring hidden in his sock drawer for the past year.

“C’mon.” He holds out his hand and she happily grabs it.

Soon there home and Ricky stops walking with Nini when they’re in the door. “Stay here and cover your eyes okay?” He tells her.

She does as told and waits a few minutes until Ricky tells her she can open them.

When she does, Ricky is in front of her, down on one knee, “Nini Salazar-Roberts, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She yells, she didn’t forget that word, and they’re both so grateful.

Ricky stands up and slides the ring on her finger and then doesn’t hesitate to kiss her.

And he knows that for now, for now, they’ll be okay.

-

Ricky walks into the living room, where he sees Nini on the couch. She’s kinda just sitting there, staring at the remote in her hands.

He’s gotten used to this. He’s gotten used to the zoning out, and although he hates it, he’s gotten used to it. 

“What are you doing?” He asks calmly.

Her face falls. “I forgot how to use the tv.”

He sits next to her, not even phased, and carefully takes the remote from her hands and turns the tv on. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Um a-a-“

“Show?” He’s used to guessing. He’d actually gotten really good at it, but it pains him to guess because he realizes she’s getting closer and closer to not saying anything at all. 

She shook her head.

“Movie?”

She nods. “Yeah. That.”

“Which one?” 

She smiles. “My favorite.”

Ricky nods and goes to Disney +, problem is, both of Nini’s favorite movies are on there. He looks at her “winter soldier or tangled?”

“Win-winter- first one please.” She manages, and she frowns knowing she can’t even say her favorite movie anymore.

He puts the movie on, and Nini cuddles up against him. “Cold.” She says simply.

He nods and grabs the blanket and puts over the two of them. He kisses her forehead, “I love you, Nini”

“I love you too.” Days like this we’re good. She was in a good mood and they we’re just, them. Ricky and Nini. Days like these, days like these are the ones he treasures most.

-

Other days, not so good.

Today, they were sitting at the table, and Nini says “we should do that again.” It was out of the blue. And he honestly had no idea what she was talking about because they hadn’t gone anywhere recently, and hadn’t really done anything recently.

“What?” 

“The double date with Seb and Carlos at Red’s pizza place last night.” She said slowly. “Remember?”

That was four years ago, but when this happened, all he could do, all he was supposed to do was play along.

He takes a breath. “Yeah that was pretty fun, I think we should do that again too.”

Now her eyes went wide, she realized what she said “Did I say it was yesterday?”

He nodded, scared of what she might say next, “yeah”

She dropped her spoon, “how bad?” She asked. “How bad has it gotten.”

He doesn’t want to answer, so he doesn’t. “Maybe we should see a doctor.”

“A doctor won’t do shit, Ricky. They can’t help, you can’t help, no one is able to do anything, I feel like the fucking scarecrow in the wizard of oz.” she clutches her hair at the root.

Uh oh, another mood swing

“That doesn’t mean they can’t help-“

“Why are you still here?” She asks dropping her hand on the table, making a slam sound. “Why didn’t you leave me when we found out? God Ricky you had so many chances and you didn’t take any of them.” She got up and started pacing.

“I’m not Nini anymore, Ricky.” She said as he stood up. “I’m not your Nini anymore. How could you love someone who isn’t even herself anymore?” She started to yell. “What, 2 years ago I told you not to let me hold you back from your dream? I gave you that damn notebook and told you to use it to follow your dream and what are you doing? You’re still letting me hold you back. I’m a huge fucking burden on your life!”

“Nini that’s not true-“

“It’s not? Then what have you been doing the past 3 years? Making sure im okay, not following your dream because of me, working long hours just so you can take care of me.”

Ricky just walked up to her, and wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his neck. His hand running up and down her back.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, that I’m doing all this to you.” She sobbed.

“Don’t apologize, you’re not doing anything.”

She sobbed even harder. “I just don’t understand. I’m not me anymore-and-and you’re still here, you still love me but why Ricky? Why are you still here?”

“I’m still here because I love you, Nini. And I still do, and I always will no matter what, okay? I need you to know that, okay?”

He could feel her nod. “Okay.”

He meant it, he loves Nini Salazar-Roberts, and he always will. He loves the Nini he met in kindergarten, the Nini who made up a song about clouds, the Nini who rode Demon’s Destiny with him, the Nini then, the Nini now, and the Nini she will become.

-

It’s gotten worse. 

She’s short and shy and moody with anyone that isn’t Ricky, most of the time she doesn’t wanna go anywhere, doesn’t wanna see anyone, not even her parents.

She forgets more and more now. She forgot the name of their high school, Ricky’s parent’s names, hell even the name of her favorite tv show.

Its like everything confuses her now. When they’re in the car driving she’s confused, when they’re at his dad’s house she’s confused. When they’re even at new places she’s confused.

They’re at her moms’ house eating dinner with them, they’re hugging. Dana and Carol smiling gratefully at Ricky over their daughter’s shoulders, although they were still a little sad that Nini didn’t know where she was when they entered the house.

At dinner, she’s fine, she knows these are her parents. She’s talking to her moms about anything she could remember, which is weird because she hardly does that anymore.

Hearing her talk like that again, it was-just amazing, yeah she couldn’t say some words and stuttered a bit but it was pretty much a normal conversation with her, and that made him happy.

“Let me help with the dishes.” Ricky offers once they’re done, taking the plates from the table, that way Nini can spend some time with her moms, plus who would Ricky he if he didn’t help Carol and Dana?

“There’s no need, Ricky we can take care of that.” Dana protested.

“No, no. I got it.” He collected their plates and washes them in the sink in the kitchen. He missed this, and he’s sure Carol and Dana did too, and Nini should spend some time with her family before she’s not......Nini anymore.

Once he’s done, and he puts everything away, he sits next to Nini, and joins in on the conversation that is currently being held.

Carol and Dana we’re showing Nini her high school yearbook.

“What’s East High?” She asks.

Carol lets out a shaky breath and Dana grabs her daughter’s hand. “It’s the High School you went to.”

“Oh.”

Carol flipped to back of the yearbook, there was a picture of her and all of her friends standing around with the words ‘High School Musical’ above them.

“Do you remember this, hun?” Dana asks, Nini shakes her head.

“I-I know the people, except for the blonde lady in the middle.” She says.

“The blonde lady? That was your teacher, Miss Jenn.” Carol explained.

“Miss Jenn?”

Ricky noticed the shift in her moms emotions, “Hey neens, why don’t we go upstairs?” He asks.

“Okay.”

He grabs her hands and leads her up the stairs, and they walk her into her old room.

Nothings really changed, except the polaroids that once hung on her wall we’re now in their own apartment but, everything else was pretty much the same.

Nini looked around in awe like she had never been before, “who’s room is this?”

Ricky feels like his heart dropped to the floor, and he knows its not her fault but, out of everything, how did she forget this? “This is your old room.” He said slowly

“Old room?”

He swallowed. “Yeah, you used to live here.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t-I don’t remember.”

“Its okay.” He pulled her into her a hug.

“Nothing important happened here?”

He feels like he could cry at any moment but he won’t. Not now. “No. Nothing happened.”

She forgot this was the place where she told him she loved him, for the very first time, but he’s okay because she still tells him that she does all the time, and as long she still does love him, that’s all that matters.

-

Many months later, Ricky invites Kourtney over.

Nini doesn’t remember her name.

“Kourtney, hey!” Ricky says excitedly hugging her, and Nini’s face lights up, suddenly remembering who was in front of her.

Kourtney hugs Nini, “hi nini!” She tries to cover up the hurt and Ricky notices it, he gives her a sad smile.

“Hi kourtney!” She says happily.

They go inside and Kourtney and Nini we’re talking just like they used to.

He decides to go to his room and let them talk alone together.

And no, he still hasn’t open the notebook, he doesn’t think he ever will. Nini wrote those songs, they’re hers not his.

He wants Nini to know how loved she is, he wants Nini to spend time with people who care about her because she can’t spend every moment with him.

He’s sitting on their bed, on his phone with the tv playing, when he hears yelling from the living room.

He throws his phone on the bed and rushes to the living room to see that Nini is yelling at Kourtney, who looked like a mix of shock and fear.

“Woah what happened?”

Nini turned in her seat “She- she said that” she was struggling to get her words out “that you-you-came to-to thanksgiving-with-someone else.” She finally managed.

He looks at Kourtney, very confused.

“I was talking about the um, the time you came to Ashlyn’s thanksgiving party with Gina.” She said quietly.

Oh.

“Nini, can I talk to Kourt alone please.” He asked calmly.

She nods suspiciously before walking to their room.

Ricky sits where Nini was on the couch. “I’m sorry. She gets-jealous now, I-she has been for awhile but I wasn’t with anyone so I didn’t think it would matter.” He tells her.

“She-she doesn’t remember thanksgiving?” She asked sadly.

He shook his head. “She doesn’t remember a lot of high school, we don’t really-um, look back on it. Not anymore.”

Kourtney was silent, seemingly gonna cry. “And what about you?”

“I’m okay.” He tells her. “I’m sorry you, came on one of these days.”

She nods. “How many good days are there? Compared to days like these?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “You never really know anymore. Some days are good, some days are bad, some days start off good and end bad, vice versa.”

“Can she still, write and play her instruments?”

He shook his head. “Not really, she tried but it just doesn’t come as easy as it once did.”

“Does she um, like a lot of the things she once did?” 

He laughs humorlessly, “I-I’ve tried, showing her her shows and movies but-she doesn’t really react to them.”

“Oh.” Kourtney said heartbroken.

“Thank you. For sticking around, and um, I would’ve invited everyone else but I thought it’d be nice to have just you two.”

“Yeah.” Kourtney said shakily. “Um, I should go, should I say bye to Nini or?”

Ricky thinks for a moment, “I think it would be best if she sees you later.”

Kourtney frowns. 

“She’ll get over it soon, see you another time?”

“Yep!” 

The two friends hug. “Thank you for taking care if my best friend Ricky, but please take care of yourself too. I love you guys.”

He nods. “We love you too, thank you for being her best friend,

Kourtney smiles sadly and walks out of the apartment.

“Ricky?” He turns at the mention of his name.

“Isn’t Gina, our-our” she frowns

“Friend? Yeah she is.” Ricky smiled faintly. “We never dated.”

She nods sitting next to him. “Could you sing?”

He smiles. “New or old?”

“Old.”

So much has happened think of what we’ve done...

Once he was finished, Nini smiled. “You wrote that?”

His stomach drops “just the second verse, you wrote the rest.”

“Oh.” Her face falls. “About you?”

He nods, his heart slightly breaking “yeah, about me.”

-

A year later and she can’t really form full sentences.

They’re walking through a park, per her request.

She stops, and stares.

He looks at her, and then what she’s staring at.

Two kids playing in a sandbox.

“You okay?” Ricky asked.

“Fine.” She lies, and he knows it.

“No, c’mon tell me what’s going on.”

“Can’t....no kids.” She looks at him. “I can’t....”

She had never talked about this, he doesn’t even think she thought about it, it pains him to know that she did want this and now she can’t have it.

Of course he knew that going into this, and yeah it had crossed his mind a few times but he never actually sat and thought about it. Her eyes began to water and all he can do is pull her close.

“You..you would be....a good....dad.” She finally says.

“Thanks. You’d be a great mom” he replies in a whisper.

She sighs. “Guess....was right.”

“About what?”

She hugs him tighter. “When...told Carlos....no kids...”

Suddenly, Ricky doesn’t wanna dwell on what should happen, they should talk about what it would be like, it wouldn’t hurt to know, right?

“Girl or boy?” He asks as they start walking again.

“Girl.”

He nods. “Yep, and we’d name her something like....”

“Ella?” She finished.

He smiles. “Definitely, and her middle name would be your Lola’s name.”

He feels her nod against him.

“Ricky and Nini and Ella.” He laughs. “She would be just as beautiful as her mother, and she would be so musically talented, and she would love to sing and ride skateboards.”

For the first time in a while, Nini laughs. 

Ricky continued. “And she’d have an amazing voice and write amazing songs and she’d be short, like you.”

She playfully hits his chest. “Shut up.”

“You love me.”

“You’re right.” She says. “And Ella.”

He sighs. “You know, I’m not upset, and just because we can’t have kids doesn’t change anything.”

She nods, and looks at him. She grabs his hand. “After I’m gone-“

“No, no, please don’t say that I-I”

She cuts him off and insists, “-after I’m gone...be...happy....please.”

All he wants to say is that he can’t. He won’t. Because she’s his best friend, the love of his life, the one that keeps him moving forward.

He wants to tell her that, no matter what, he won’t ever love anyone as much as he loves her, that even after she’s gone, she’ll still be his one and only in his eyes.

But he doesn’t, all he does is hold her tighter.

-

Now she refuses to talk to anyone but Ricky.

Not Kourtney, not any of their friends, not even to her parents.

She turns and walks away when anyone but Ricky speaks to her. The people who care about her so deeply walk out of the room with tears streaming down their faces because Nini, their Nini, doesn’t even want to spend her last moments with them.

Her moms are taking this the hardest. “This isn’t-this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.” Carol cried.

“A daughter isn’t supposed to outlive her parents.”

Ricky really doesn’t know what to say to that, because they’re right, “For what it’s worth, she looked up to you guys a lot, and she still loves you, a lot, and you’re always in her thoughts.”

Dana nods. “It’s worth a lot, I just-why won’t she talk to us? We’re her parents.”

Ricky sighs, he doesn’t know what to say to that either. “I’m sorry I-I don’t know.” He clears his throat. “I think it’s just-she-“ he’s trying to find the right words. “I think she just, doesn’t want to talk to anyone really. I’ve tried, to get her to talk to someone, anyone but she just won’t.”

Carol cups Ricky’s face. “Thank you, for taking care of our baby girl. We don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”

Ricky just smiles.

-

She doesn’t talk anymore.

Ricky speaks for the two of them now.

Some days she’s confused and has no idea what’s going on, she zones out, doesn’t eat, doesn’t do anything he’s tried to get her to focus but it doesn’t work.

He leaves her be on those days.

She’s said his name a few times today though, so that’s good.

He’s telling her about the time when he almost ran over her lemonade stand in 5th grade, and she’s smiling.

“I was really trying to impress you, kind of a shocker you still liked me after that.” He chuckles.

“Best....best fr-best friend.”

“Best friend.” He softens. “Always.”

-

It’s been 10 years now.

She could be gone any day, any moment and that’s what scares him most.

What if he’s not there? What if it’s in her sleep? 

Goodnights turned into goodbyes.

Good-mornings turned into Ricky calling her name in relief when she woke up.

Sometimes he wakes up crying, or he stays up crying, because he never knows when her last moment is.

She doesn’t do much anymore.

She’s either looking out the window or just sitting and thinking.

He holds her tighter in the night, and the only thing that makes her light up like she used to is his singing so that’s what he does.

He sings.

Then one morning, they know this is it. 

She bolts right up “Ricky?”

He knows this is it because he hadn’t heard her say his name in months. “Nini? No no not now please-“

She nods her head. This is it.

He’s not ready. He never has been. And he knew this day would come but-god could he have one more day with her.

He holds her, his face in her shoulder, and her arms are around him. He still wasn’t ready.

He doesn’t know how her arms are wrapped around him but he doesn’t question it. Not one bit, because this was her last moment, this was his last moment with her, and he wasn’t gonna waste it.

“Do you know how happy you’ve made me? That you’re the best thing to ever happen to me?” He kisses her, for the very last time and she’s kissing back, for the first time in a year. “I meant every single word I said back in that dressing room in high school. Every. Single. Word.”

He can’t breathe, he’s shaking so much. He’s trembling, he’s losing her again. “I love you more than anything Nini, and there’s nothing, no one-“ he can’t even finish. 

“I love you too Ricky.” That’s the first time in 10 years he’s heard that Nini, and then the weight of her arms fall from his shoulders. And thats the moment she’s gone, she’s really gone. His Nini is gone.

He stays there for a very, very, long time. Holding her lifeless body and sobbing uncontrollably in her shoulder.

-

3 years later, he’s okay now.

He isn’t with anybody else because, there’s no one else.

Seb and Carlos adopted a kid, her name’s Nina, or, Nini, and Ricky’s not afraid to admit he broke down crying when they told him.

Kourtney, got married and is having a baby boy, who she plans to tell all the amazing stories of his Aunt Nini, with Ricky’s help of course.

He’s finally taken a look at the notebook full of songs. He’s a singer now, has a whole album out in fact. Right now he’s at his very first concert for his tour.

He smiles at the roaring crowd, “before I get started, this album was written by my very best friend, Nini Salazar-Roberts.”

**Author's Note:**

> tw//mentions of/death
> 
> i cried writing this


End file.
